DSM Diary - for sale

A few weeks ago I decided to put my Eclipse up for sale. Yea it's one sexy bitch and it has all the goods inside of it like tv, xbox 360, ect. and it's fast as fuck but.. It's still a DSM. It seems like every time I drive it somethign happens that I gota replace or fix. Typical Mitsubishi, nothing can help it, it's just the nature of the beast.

So anyways, the 1st person to contact me was this punk fucking kid. I had no idea as he emaild me and was rather professional sounding. After a few emails of him stroking it I was irritated an told him "look, if youre a young kid with high hopes and no money or means of buying it just stop now and leave me alone as I do not have time to mess with you". He assured me he wasent a kid and that he did infact have the money an bla bla.. So after another few days he finally admits he is 17, has a gay ass Cavalier, (he sent me pics of this pile of fuck) and is trying to sell it to buy my car.

I email him back tellin him to not bother me anymore as I was tired of dealing with him, told him my car was no longer for sale and even if it was I wouldnt sell a car as nice as mine to a douchebag like him.

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The next kid looked about 12 tho he claimed to be 23, whatever.
Being that he was wearin a strait bill hat cocked to the side made me not want him near my car. Actually it gave me a great urge to punch him in the mouth. I refrained.

He asked for the keys I gave them to him so he could start it. He says he is going to take it for a spin. I laugh and reach in after the keys.

kid; wha wha u do dat fo man?
jay; you arent driving it.
kid; wha? why not?
jay; show me money an you can drive it. no money no drive.
kid; aww man cmon' dats buuuushit
jay; you wana ride in it? hop in the pass side ill drive
kid' aw cmon man how i know i want if if i not drive it man
jay; ok, get out, i dont have much to do today but i dont wana be here with you any longer
kid; man dats fukced up man
jay; get the hell out of my car

I walk off, laughing even tho I am a little irritated.
My dad is about to fall on the ground laughing as is his buddies who were witnessing this event.

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Next guy calls me, he is ghetto like g-h-e-t-t-o
I find it rather difficult to understand him being that every other sentence was "kno wut I sayin'?". He seemed interested, I think. That or he just wants to find out where it's located so he can come and steal it. Who knows.

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On to the next guy..
This cat is older soundin, pretty nice fella too
He calls me back again today saying he will pay cash but doesnt want to drive 3 hours from home with that much cash on him so he located a branch of his bank here in town to get it from and will be here tuesday. Yea, we'll see if he shows up.

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This dood calls me last night, wants to see the car today at 11am
At 10am my phone rings, it's him an he is on his way, 1 hour early. I am not pleased. I go get it, and meet him at PizzaHut. He is a backwoods redneck type and has no fucking idea what he is looking at. I know this because he opens the hood and says "ok, so what am I looking at here?". After a bunch of crap he leaves saying he will call me later. I am cold and pissed off because he wasted my time.

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This other dood calls me, he seems like a cool cat
He then ask's me if I would be interested in trading for a 94' Integra and a 95 DelSol si, both. I tell him yea I'd think it over, he sends me pics. I guess im involved in an online game of "let's make a fuckni' deal" or something.

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Anyhow, it just gets better with every call or email..