They say the water, is cherry wine..

And all them women, drunk all the time..

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Even in my drunken state I still found this rather funny..



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So this w/end we all hit up the "party barge". For those of you who dont know, the party barge is actually a 2 story Sternwheeler boat, with a double decker boat hooked onto the front of it. It also has a catwalk going from one to the other.. which is obviously a good, safe idea when 99% of the occupants are completely shitfaced.

I showed up with about half my crew, cause that's how I roll. I dont ride solo. After about 15min of waiting in the parkinglot bullshitting with everyone in rolls Worth, his chic, and the rest of my crew soon followed. It didnt take long for me to realise most of my buddies were well on their way of being shitfaced.. god damn golf course.

On the boat I stroll, I have allready been "laid" with a nice array of neon green flower's. I have enough time to get on the boat before I am greeted with a "Hi, my name is:" tag. Ha, it even had my name on it.. How fucking cool is that?



^ Pic of my jeans the next day.. You didnt think I was going to wear it somewhere normal, like on my shirt did you? Puhlease.

The DJ starts to kick it, and off shore we begin. Fuck Jack Sparrow, I am now Captain Siwel, and I intend to set sail the Ohio in search of treasure "coolers of beer" and plan on looting every boat I come in contact with until this feat is accomplished! Well lookie there, there's a bar on both portions of this barge. Perhaps I will curb my plans of looting until another day..

Anyhow, moving onward down the Ohio.

About half way into the trip some guy comes downstairs and informs us of, and I quote "there's some blonde bitch upstairs in a denim mini with no panties on flashing off her cooch to everyone man, you gota check this out".

Now then, without even having to go upstairs I had allready figured out this is Worth's chic. She had been drinking margaritas at Roadhouse since 4pm.. it is now 10pm, you do the math.

For those of you who did not do so well in math class, allow me to figure this up on paper for you so you may understand just what I am saying.

1 stupid whore
+ (plus)
1 bottle's worth of tequila via. a shitload of margaritas
= (equals)
1 extremely drunk whore who has difficulty keeping clothes on

Now you drop down the answer to the first equasion and add it in with another factor

1 extremely drunk whore who has difficulty keeping clothes on
+ (plus)
1 bartender who willingly gives said whore can of whip cream
= (equals)
1 extremely drunk whore who now has boobs out, covered in whipcream, shoving the faces of passers-by in them be they male or femals

Now then, you drop down the answer to the 2nd equasion and add in another factor

1 extremely drunk whore who now has boobs out, covered in whipcream, shoving the faces of passers-by in them be they male or femals
+ (plus)
1 boyfriend (Worth) who does not perticularly like attention being drawn to him, or being reffered to as "the guy who is with that stupid topless whore over there"
= (equals)
1 pissed off Worth

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This equasion was figured up in my head while all of those said events began happening where I was, on the bottom deck. No need for me to go topside, the stupidity came right to my table. Lucky me.

I have now found an overwhelming deisre to go topside, away from the chaos. It is then that I realise there are people having camp fires ect. on the river bank.. What a grand opportunity to begin yelling. I make my way to the back of the front top deck, followed by 2 of my crew members. I begin yelling nonsense and flipping people off, as if they could see my finger.. This creates a reaction from the partiers on the bank, but not one in which I expected.. No, instead I had 2 girls flash me (frontal nudity). Standing there a little suprised, but laughing uncontrollably, my friends take it upon theirselves to now begin yelling at the top of their lungs things like "show me your tits" and the ever classic "hey wana fuck". Yea, brain surgeons they are not.

Now bored with this I turn my attention twards the dancefloor, where a couple of idiots are doing the electric slide.. oh wait, those idiots are part of my crew. Go figure.

The rest of the night was just your usual drunken bs talk, throw in a few catch phrases like "we have just lost contorl of the music selections.. the power of pussy is powerfull, even more powerfull than Ronnie", and that pretty much sums it all up.

I could babble on and on trying to make uneventful things seem eventful so that you have something to read, but that would bore even me as I wrote it.


Anyhow til next time..