Monday, March 5, 2007

Foreign ppl suck

I would have never thought Sushi would become impossible to find in Parkersburg..
I mean really, wtf?

I have been on a chinese kick lately, and been wanting Sushi. I know you cant get it from the MTO "made to order" takeout order dickheads but you can get it at the buffet's, well, at least you used to be able to.

Anyhow I stroll on over to Marietta today in search of one thing and one thing only.
Sushi.

Now I dont really know what the fuck it is called, but whateevr it is, it's just sweet rice with a peice of butterfly shrimp on top of it and tied together by.. god knows what. Anyhow you dip those suckers in soy sauce an they are pretty bitchin'.

I walk in this joint, alone. This sucks. I hate eating by myself. You know what this means tho right? I am going to have to make my own entertainment of some sort because I have been here for 30 seconds and am already bored.

Im seated and order my tea, then I head for the floor.
I grab a plate and make my way to the sushi bar. Ah! There are those lil basterds I have been craving for 2 fuckin weeks! I immediatley fill my plate w/nothing but these lil basterds. As I finish loading my plate up one of the chics who works there just gives me that evil "fuck you round eye" kinda look. I look at her and smile as to ignore any facial expression she may be giving me and grab a bowl as I head off to my table.

I scarf those sons' bitches down in record time man. I hadent eaten all fuckin day an had been wanting this shit for 2 weeks now. Nothing was going to sidetrack me.

This brings me to round 2.

I head off to the bar once again for more of these tasty lil basterds.
This time that same chic is already at the sushi bar.. It's almost like she was waiting on me or some shit. Anyhow I do to her what I do to most ppl and completely ignore her as I begin filling my plate once again.

As I begin to load up my plate I hear in excessively broken english "suh suh". Which to sound it out for you, so you understand, imagine taking "uh" and putting an "s" in front of it. She was trying to say "sir" I assume.. but if she isnt going to speak my fuckin language I am not giong to pay attention to her.

Now another chic walks over, her english is just as stellar.

She walks to my side as to get my attention I guess.. an repeatidly says "suh suh". I have now had enough, I look at her as to say what in the fuck do you want. As I look at her she just shuts up. Im like wtf.. I just look at her and say "si".

Both chic's now have a puzzled look on their face.
One of them now says "suh reave sum foe otha". Let me translate that for you.. it says (sir, leave some for others).

I just smile at them both like I havent the slightest idea what in the fuck they are talking about, then go on about filling my plate once again.

This does not please the 2 chics.

I now hear "suh suh" once again, this time alot louder than before. I am now finished filling my plate, and as I turn away from the bar and twards her I yell "SI?!". This once again confuses her. She tells me once again "suh reave sum foe otha". I just smile as I look at her and say "NO HABLE ESPANOL" then walk off to my table.

This extremely pisses her off.
I am trying to hard not to laugh that I cant stand it. I make it to my table and sit down biting my lip as to not just die laughing. Everyone within earshot of the bar is looking at me. The guy sitting across from me in the other booth has a smirk on his face and I quickly look down at the table away from to keep from laughing.

I begin filling up my bowl w/soy sauce and as I am doing so my check/bill is placed rather harshly (slammed) onto my table. I think it was their way of telling me that I had overstayed my welcome.

I grab some napkins out of the dispencer on the table and unfold them. I place my sushi on the little tablecloth I had just made and wrap it up. 3 ppl who work there are watching this event take place.. As I place this wrapped up sushi into my pocket they just start pointing at me and looking at one another talking foreign jibberish. I now find it difficult to not laugh once again.

I walk to the counter and pay for my meal. The guy at the register apparently has heard of my actions as he does not look too happy w/me at the moment. Oh well, fuck him anyways.

I start to walk off and they are all still staring at me.. I just look at the one chic that kept "suh suh"-ing me and say ADIOS!

Haha even Chinese fuckers think im an asshole.. They had it coming.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work.

October 28, 2008 at 5:15 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home