Test
Droid test
posted by Jay Siwel at
12:06 AM
0 Comments
Monday, July 25, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
More drunk follies
I knew I'd want a coke in the morning so drunk me, knowing I'd want it to be cold put it in the freezer so sober me would have it to drink in the morning.. Great idea.
posted by Jay Siwel at
11:46 PM
0 Comments
Invisible fortune
I took a hdr pic of the fortune from my cookie and it looks like this?
posted by Jay Siwel at
8:16 PM
0 Comments
Shitters full!
Like I want to wander outside to use the pisser while I'm drunk.
posted by Jay Siwel at
2:13 AM
0 Comments
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Jay set's the bar on fire.. literally
As you may or may not know by now I am a Mexican food fanatic, and the best part of eating Mexican is 90% of the time their margaritas are killer.
One summer I visited my buddy TK in Va. Beach for about 2mon’s and he had an “authentic” Mexican joint like 5 blocks down. So needless to say the folks that run this joint and I became close..
Now this joint isn’t the classiest of joints around but they did have good food. Traditionally it was more of a restaurant than a bar although it did have a bar in it. Now then, as odd at it seems the norm consisted of TK and I sitting at a table eating/drinking, then at times depending on what the bar scene looked like, motivating bar-ward after the meals were finished.
This particular day however I was not real hungry so I just ordered my usual, which was a pitcher of margarita, rim of the pitcher salted. I know this may confuse you. “Why salt the rim of the pitcher?” you may be asking. Well kids, it is because that’s how I roll. I don’t have time to screw around with filling those pansy martini looking glasses. No sir, I go straight to the source, I shoot it straight from the pitcher. (After the first week of me doing this they actually bought some of those super long straws like 7-11 has. Kind of funny.)
Now, these Mexican dood’s loved me. I could tell them the most vulgar shit right in front of their customers as they wait on tables an they never got mad. The customers however, well, fuck them.
About two pitchers into this evening It’s time to make my first trip to el grande pisser. As I walk in I immediately notice a mop bucket. Now to most people this would mean nothing and they would walk on past thinking nothing of it. Well, me to, this time around. However I did get a good chuckle as I wandered to the stall. If you have already read my story “Siwel vs. the mop bucket” (and you should have being it was a few stories before this one) then you know what I am getting at.
I make my way back to our table and sit down with a crooked grin on my face. TK just gives me that “oh god, what did you do now” look. Second pitcher gone an I see my third on it’s way. (I don’t even have to order at this place they just bring them to me until I tell them to stop). Our waiter Paco (no clue what his real name is) stops and asks TK if he needs anything. Immediately I interrupt to tell our waiter about the mop bucket in the bathroom and why he should remove it. He is concerned that the presence of it in the bathroom upsets me. I assure him it is nothing of the sort, and he laughs and asks why it is that it be removed so promptly..
As I begin my story 2 other waiters hear the laughter erupting from not only the waiter but TK as well. Apparently TK had never heard the mop bucket story.
(incase you skipped my previous mop bucket story I will tell you, in short, it involves an unattended mop bucket in a bar bathroom and me taking a massive jager dump in it)
There are 2 tables within ear-shot of me and I am making no effort to be quiet. Mortified by this story two old people who were seated by my table get up and walk out.
No shit.
I guess casual talk about jagermeister giving you the ass-piss was just too much for them to handle while they tried to decide what to order for dinner.
Well fuck them.
Third pitcher is 1/3 in the books when it is decided that TK and I should have Paco top our pitchers off with tequila. (Great idea!). He looks and kind of laughs at us as he takes our pitchers off to the bar. The other table beside of us who did not leave when the mop bucket story took place sees that we are well on our way of becoming shit-holed and apparently they want no part of it as they grab their plates and head to the bar. Ha, up tight pricks anyhow. (I couldn’t wait for an opportunity to go talk to them).
Paco has returned with our pitchers and is laughing about the people who were once a table over from me. Apparently they told him their reason for relocation was due to my colorful language and my less than gentlemanly like conduct. Fuck them, we have two pitchers of supercharged margarita’s to drink.
As we look down at these two pitchers of heartburn in the making TK say’s two words which seals the fate of Jay checking out for the evening and my alter ego Siwel making his grand appearance. Those two words were “let’s race”.
Now I don’t know if you have ever tried to chug a pitcher of margarita. Most of what our society considers to be “normal” people have never tried it nor have they even thought of it, or considered it to be a good idea.
Fuck them, I am no normal mortal man.
I accept this challenge and I shall come out as the victor even if it kills me.
I stand up on my chair to announce this challenge to the entire establishment.
Game on.
3/4 of the way into this pitcher I am spent. I sit it down, no longer can I hang.
TK sits his down as well and is glad to see he lasted just slightly longer than I. He is an asshole. The remainder of the two pitchers get drank at a slightly slower pace and I ask for the check.
We are not leaving. Oh no, no, no.
Earlier in the day it was agreed that I would buy dinner that night and TK would pick up the tab on our boozing adventure after. I pay Paco and to the bar we head.
You can just imagine how excited the two people who had left their table to go sit at the bar and eat were when they seen that TK and I were heading in their direction. (By this time I have reached shit-holed drunk. Siwel is standing dormant waiting to step in).
In need of something to chase all of this sour mix and tequila down I order a 32oz bud light. Yea I know, but it’s really all they had on tap that was what I considered drinkable.
I take a few drinks and notice the couple at the bar trying their hardest to pretend that I do not exist.
This does two things.
1. It pisses me off, and
2. It adds fuel to my fire.
Beer is not going to do the trick.
If I am going to really piss these people off I am going to need the help of my alter ego. Hard liquor here we come.
I slam down the rest of my beer as fast as a human being possibly can and start yelling incoherent shit to the bartender. He laughs as he walks over to ask what it is I am in need of. I point to the couple and say “GET ME, MY BUDDY, AND THOSE TWO FUCKERS OVER THERE A ROUND OF FLAMING DR. PEPPERS.”
Instantly the couple at the bar are once again mortified by not only my language but now for the fact that I am fully acknowledging their existence and want to interact with them.
(Ladies and gentlemen, Jay has left the building. Siwel has arrived)
The bartender has not the slightest idea what in the hell a flaming Dr. Pepper is, how to make it, or if I’m just pulling this out of my ass which I have been known to do at time. I assure him it is indeed real and offer my assistance in helping him make them.
I have 4 pint glasses out. The couple at the bar both notice this and make their opinions clear that they want no part of this drink but “Thank you anyhow”.
Yea well fuck them, I will make 4 and they can watch TK and I do them.
Apparently as I was pouring the 151 atop the shot glasses I spilt some of it, ok, quite a bit of it onto the bar. Ah well, no big deal.
Now the traditional way of doing this is to take a mouthful of 151 and blow it out into a flaming lighter/match but the last time I tried that my hand was left bare and slightly scorched, so I opted for the other method which was just lighting the glasses individually.
This is when disaster strikes.
Remember that spilt 151 I was telling you about? Well perhaps I, or the bartender should have cleaned this up before deciding to take part in a fiery magic show.
Poof.
There we are, the bar is now on fire.
Instantly I fall into a fit of raging laughter. This is the absolute funniest shit I have ever seen at this point. The couple who were at bar run in terror as the 151 burns off the top of the bar.
A few seconds later the fire is out but TK, the bartender and I are still standing there in shock-and-awe laughing our asses off.
It is then decided that I should not be in charge of anything flammable.
I loudly and violently dispute this decision repeatedly but am overthrown by a two to one vote. I am displeased at this outcome but my attention is quickly diverted to another round of Dr. Pepper.
The couple that was at the bar is now at the other end of the joint talking to their previous waiter demanding their check. They were so scared by my fiery performance that they refuse to even go back to the bar to finish their meals.
This gives me a sense of fulfillment that you just cant buy.
How many people do you know that are able to go into a public place and unintentionally (Sort of) scare the absolute hell out of a person so bad that they leave without finishing their meal or whatever their intent was for being there?
I make an announcement to the bar explaining this act and order more Dr Peppers.
I rule.
One summer I visited my buddy TK in Va. Beach for about 2mon’s and he had an “authentic” Mexican joint like 5 blocks down. So needless to say the folks that run this joint and I became close..
Now this joint isn’t the classiest of joints around but they did have good food. Traditionally it was more of a restaurant than a bar although it did have a bar in it. Now then, as odd at it seems the norm consisted of TK and I sitting at a table eating/drinking, then at times depending on what the bar scene looked like, motivating bar-ward after the meals were finished.
This particular day however I was not real hungry so I just ordered my usual, which was a pitcher of margarita, rim of the pitcher salted. I know this may confuse you. “Why salt the rim of the pitcher?” you may be asking. Well kids, it is because that’s how I roll. I don’t have time to screw around with filling those pansy martini looking glasses. No sir, I go straight to the source, I shoot it straight from the pitcher. (After the first week of me doing this they actually bought some of those super long straws like 7-11 has. Kind of funny.)
Now, these Mexican dood’s loved me. I could tell them the most vulgar shit right in front of their customers as they wait on tables an they never got mad. The customers however, well, fuck them.
About two pitchers into this evening It’s time to make my first trip to el grande pisser. As I walk in I immediately notice a mop bucket. Now to most people this would mean nothing and they would walk on past thinking nothing of it. Well, me to, this time around. However I did get a good chuckle as I wandered to the stall. If you have already read my story “Siwel vs. the mop bucket” (and you should have being it was a few stories before this one) then you know what I am getting at.
I make my way back to our table and sit down with a crooked grin on my face. TK just gives me that “oh god, what did you do now” look. Second pitcher gone an I see my third on it’s way. (I don’t even have to order at this place they just bring them to me until I tell them to stop). Our waiter Paco (no clue what his real name is) stops and asks TK if he needs anything. Immediately I interrupt to tell our waiter about the mop bucket in the bathroom and why he should remove it. He is concerned that the presence of it in the bathroom upsets me. I assure him it is nothing of the sort, and he laughs and asks why it is that it be removed so promptly..
As I begin my story 2 other waiters hear the laughter erupting from not only the waiter but TK as well. Apparently TK had never heard the mop bucket story.
(incase you skipped my previous mop bucket story I will tell you, in short, it involves an unattended mop bucket in a bar bathroom and me taking a massive jager dump in it)
There are 2 tables within ear-shot of me and I am making no effort to be quiet. Mortified by this story two old people who were seated by my table get up and walk out.
No shit.
I guess casual talk about jagermeister giving you the ass-piss was just too much for them to handle while they tried to decide what to order for dinner.
Well fuck them.
Third pitcher is 1/3 in the books when it is decided that TK and I should have Paco top our pitchers off with tequila. (Great idea!). He looks and kind of laughs at us as he takes our pitchers off to the bar. The other table beside of us who did not leave when the mop bucket story took place sees that we are well on our way of becoming shit-holed and apparently they want no part of it as they grab their plates and head to the bar. Ha, up tight pricks anyhow. (I couldn’t wait for an opportunity to go talk to them).
Paco has returned with our pitchers and is laughing about the people who were once a table over from me. Apparently they told him their reason for relocation was due to my colorful language and my less than gentlemanly like conduct. Fuck them, we have two pitchers of supercharged margarita’s to drink.
As we look down at these two pitchers of heartburn in the making TK say’s two words which seals the fate of Jay checking out for the evening and my alter ego Siwel making his grand appearance. Those two words were “let’s race”.
Now I don’t know if you have ever tried to chug a pitcher of margarita. Most of what our society considers to be “normal” people have never tried it nor have they even thought of it, or considered it to be a good idea.
Fuck them, I am no normal mortal man.
I accept this challenge and I shall come out as the victor even if it kills me.
I stand up on my chair to announce this challenge to the entire establishment.
Game on.
3/4 of the way into this pitcher I am spent. I sit it down, no longer can I hang.
TK sits his down as well and is glad to see he lasted just slightly longer than I. He is an asshole. The remainder of the two pitchers get drank at a slightly slower pace and I ask for the check.
We are not leaving. Oh no, no, no.
Earlier in the day it was agreed that I would buy dinner that night and TK would pick up the tab on our boozing adventure after. I pay Paco and to the bar we head.
You can just imagine how excited the two people who had left their table to go sit at the bar and eat were when they seen that TK and I were heading in their direction. (By this time I have reached shit-holed drunk. Siwel is standing dormant waiting to step in).
In need of something to chase all of this sour mix and tequila down I order a 32oz bud light. Yea I know, but it’s really all they had on tap that was what I considered drinkable.
I take a few drinks and notice the couple at the bar trying their hardest to pretend that I do not exist.
This does two things.
1. It pisses me off, and
2. It adds fuel to my fire.
Beer is not going to do the trick.
If I am going to really piss these people off I am going to need the help of my alter ego. Hard liquor here we come.
I slam down the rest of my beer as fast as a human being possibly can and start yelling incoherent shit to the bartender. He laughs as he walks over to ask what it is I am in need of. I point to the couple and say “GET ME, MY BUDDY, AND THOSE TWO FUCKERS OVER THERE A ROUND OF FLAMING DR. PEPPERS.”
Instantly the couple at the bar are once again mortified by not only my language but now for the fact that I am fully acknowledging their existence and want to interact with them.
(Ladies and gentlemen, Jay has left the building. Siwel has arrived)
The bartender has not the slightest idea what in the hell a flaming Dr. Pepper is, how to make it, or if I’m just pulling this out of my ass which I have been known to do at time. I assure him it is indeed real and offer my assistance in helping him make them.
I have 4 pint glasses out. The couple at the bar both notice this and make their opinions clear that they want no part of this drink but “Thank you anyhow”.
Yea well fuck them, I will make 4 and they can watch TK and I do them.
Apparently as I was pouring the 151 atop the shot glasses I spilt some of it, ok, quite a bit of it onto the bar. Ah well, no big deal.
Now the traditional way of doing this is to take a mouthful of 151 and blow it out into a flaming lighter/match but the last time I tried that my hand was left bare and slightly scorched, so I opted for the other method which was just lighting the glasses individually.
This is when disaster strikes.
Remember that spilt 151 I was telling you about? Well perhaps I, or the bartender should have cleaned this up before deciding to take part in a fiery magic show.
Poof.
There we are, the bar is now on fire.
Instantly I fall into a fit of raging laughter. This is the absolute funniest shit I have ever seen at this point. The couple who were at bar run in terror as the 151 burns off the top of the bar.
A few seconds later the fire is out but TK, the bartender and I are still standing there in shock-and-awe laughing our asses off.
It is then decided that I should not be in charge of anything flammable.
I loudly and violently dispute this decision repeatedly but am overthrown by a two to one vote. I am displeased at this outcome but my attention is quickly diverted to another round of Dr. Pepper.
The couple that was at the bar is now at the other end of the joint talking to their previous waiter demanding their check. They were so scared by my fiery performance that they refuse to even go back to the bar to finish their meals.
This gives me a sense of fulfillment that you just cant buy.
How many people do you know that are able to go into a public place and unintentionally (Sort of) scare the absolute hell out of a person so bad that they leave without finishing their meal or whatever their intent was for being there?
I make an announcement to the bar explaining this act and order more Dr Peppers.
I rule.
posted by Siwel at
1:27 PM
0 Comments
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Jay's chili - how to
I had to kind of guesstimate the measurements on this being as I just kind of freehand it all in.. But this is close enough.
You can add/subtract the ammounts of things to make it spicy-hot to your taste.
-What you will need;
x2 jars of HOT Salsa "brand pending on what type you like"
x1 big can of tomato juice
x1 equally sized bottle of v8 juice
x6 cans of dark red kidney beans
x2 cans of light red kidney beans
x1 pound and a half or so Hamburger
x1 bottle of Worstishire sauce
x1 bottle of A1 steak sauce
x1 bottle of Chili powder
x1 bottle of Tabasco sauce
x1 shaker of Salt
x1 shaker of Pepper
x6 packets of "fire" tacobell sauce
x1 case of beer (for you, not the chili)
-Steps in the creation;
Open case of beer, set on counter
Locate large pot and skillet
Chug one beer and throw can in trash
Unpack all ingredients from the bags or locations in which they currently reside
Drink beer
Put hamburger in skillet and lightly sprinkle Salt and Chili Powder on it
Wash hands
Drink beer
Add 2 table spoons of Worstishire Sauce
Add 2 table spoons of A1 sauce
Lick the A1 off of the spoon
Drink beer
Turn heat on and begin frying
As it is frying stir in half jar of Salsa
Add small ammount of Tabasco sauce "use your own judgement"
Drink beer
Continue chopping with potato masher while frying until completely done
Take spoon you licked A1 off of to capture small ammount of Hamburger from skillet and let cool in spoon while you..
Drink beer
Taste and judge if it needs more simmering
Drink beer
Dump into strainer to let excess grease drain
While waiting on Hamburger to drain..
Chug 2 beers
Grab large pot
Add the other half of Salsa from the Hamburger mix
Open each can of beans and drain the watery shit off of them, dumping each can in
Drink beer
Sprinkle 1 1/2 tablespoons of Sugar on top
Sprinkle Pepper on top
Add 1 jar of salsa
Add 6 packets of tacobell sauce
Add 2 tablespoons of A1 sauce
Lick A1 off of spoon
Drink beer
Add small ammount of Tabasco sauce "use your own judgement"(warning: judgement may be impaired at this point)
Check Hamburger to see if it is drained
Grab small handfull and eat
Drink beer
Add Hamburger
Pour in can of Tomato juice
Pour in can of V8 juice
Drink beer
Turn heat on high and bring to near boil
Drink beer
Turn heat down to low, cover and simmer for 1/2 hour stirring occasionally
Continue drinking beer
I know what you are thinking. "Is the beer really a necesary element in the process of and completion of creating this chili?"
The answer of course is YES
I dont mind cooking, but to say I enjoy it would be the equivalent to me saying "you know, I been thinking, and being a homosexual may not be all that bad.."
So you have to throw the beer in to mix things up a bit.
It gives the male an appearance of still being manly while creating a manly looking meal. It also impairs the judgement enough to add just a bit too much Tabasco which gives it the hot "death" kick to the mix.
You can add/subtract the ammounts of things to make it spicy-hot to your taste.
-What you will need;
x2 jars of HOT Salsa "brand pending on what type you like"
x1 big can of tomato juice
x1 equally sized bottle of v8 juice
x6 cans of dark red kidney beans
x2 cans of light red kidney beans
x1 pound and a half or so Hamburger
x1 bottle of Worstishire sauce
x1 bottle of A1 steak sauce
x1 bottle of Chili powder
x1 bottle of Tabasco sauce
x1 shaker of Salt
x1 shaker of Pepper
x6 packets of "fire" tacobell sauce
x1 case of beer (for you, not the chili)
-Steps in the creation;
Open case of beer, set on counter
Locate large pot and skillet
Chug one beer and throw can in trash
Unpack all ingredients from the bags or locations in which they currently reside
Drink beer
Put hamburger in skillet and lightly sprinkle Salt and Chili Powder on it
Wash hands
Drink beer
Add 2 table spoons of Worstishire Sauce
Add 2 table spoons of A1 sauce
Lick the A1 off of the spoon
Drink beer
Turn heat on and begin frying
As it is frying stir in half jar of Salsa
Add small ammount of Tabasco sauce "use your own judgement"
Drink beer
Continue chopping with potato masher while frying until completely done
Take spoon you licked A1 off of to capture small ammount of Hamburger from skillet and let cool in spoon while you..
Drink beer
Taste and judge if it needs more simmering
Drink beer
Dump into strainer to let excess grease drain
While waiting on Hamburger to drain..
Chug 2 beers
Grab large pot
Add the other half of Salsa from the Hamburger mix
Open each can of beans and drain the watery shit off of them, dumping each can in
Drink beer
Sprinkle 1 1/2 tablespoons of Sugar on top
Sprinkle Pepper on top
Add 1 jar of salsa
Add 6 packets of tacobell sauce
Add 2 tablespoons of A1 sauce
Lick A1 off of spoon
Drink beer
Add small ammount of Tabasco sauce "use your own judgement"(warning: judgement may be impaired at this point)
Check Hamburger to see if it is drained
Grab small handfull and eat
Drink beer
Add Hamburger
Pour in can of Tomato juice
Pour in can of V8 juice
Drink beer
Turn heat on high and bring to near boil
Drink beer
Turn heat down to low, cover and simmer for 1/2 hour stirring occasionally
Continue drinking beer
I know what you are thinking. "Is the beer really a necesary element in the process of and completion of creating this chili?"
The answer of course is YES
I dont mind cooking, but to say I enjoy it would be the equivalent to me saying "you know, I been thinking, and being a homosexual may not be all that bad.."
So you have to throw the beer in to mix things up a bit.
It gives the male an appearance of still being manly while creating a manly looking meal. It also impairs the judgement enough to add just a bit too much Tabasco which gives it the hot "death" kick to the mix.
posted by Siwel at
2:31 PM
0 Comments
An old blog before I found my dog
For oh, quite some time I have wanted either a solid white Pitbull or a solid white Bull terrier. This search has allowed me to come in contact with some very interesting individuals.
Here are just 2 examples of this. The rest I compiled into one big "Siwel" archive story to read.
Anyhow I needed an update so here ya are ferrets.. Groove on.
2 weeks ago I located an awesome adult white Pitty in South Charleston. I talk to the guy an he's kinda ghetto. I agree to come pick the dog up, then never hear from him again. Today, 2 weeks after our initial calling he calls me and this is how the convo goes;
him; Aye yo man, I isnt mean to be aviodin yous calls n' shit I just been busy ya know.
me; uh, yea thats cool. so when can i come get him?
him; aw dog you know wut happend? dat boy went an knocked up dis bitch we got an now shes gona have some pups man
me; uhm, ok?
him; yea dawg see i not really wantin get rid of him yet not til after dem pups be born an shit ya know. not gona let him be steppin out on his baby momma (he then laughs hystarically)
me; uhhh, right.. so.. ?
him; ah shit man (laughs some more) why dont you gimme a call in bout ohh 6 weeks i be get rid of him to ya then
me; ok dood (hang up)
-not sure why 6wk's but whatever..This was the funniest phone convo I have had with a complete stranger in my life. I was so dumbfounded when I got off the phone I just laughed for like 5min.. then I call this lady;
This lady has 5 pit pups. She emails me quite a few pics and the white one is awesome. Anyhow she gives me her addy an shit so I can mapquest it, as well as her phone # so I give her a call;
me; yea, this is Jay we been playin email tag about the white puppy ya got
her; oh yes, im glad to hear from you instead of email (laughs)
me; well I just mapquested it, it's gona take me oh, about 2 an a half hours to get there, but I plan on leaving in the next 10min.
her; ok that's fine. Oh, wait, did I tell you that the white one you are wanting is deaf? I cant remember if I did or not.
me; deaf? are you shitting me?
her; no (in an unpleased voice due to my useage of the word shit)
me; (highly pissed off now) is it blind an fuckin retarded too?
her; UGH! NO! ASSHOLE! (hangs up on me)
I was pissed off because it was like here, here's this candy lil boy, doesnt it look good? Then at the last minute being like oh yea, I forgot to tell you I found it in the toilet floating in a sea of piss. Her calling me an asshole made me laugh alot tho so I got over it right quick. Yes that was an asshole-ish thing to say but she pissed me off, fuck her anyway.
Here are just 2 examples of this. The rest I compiled into one big "Siwel" archive story to read.
Anyhow I needed an update so here ya are ferrets.. Groove on.
2 weeks ago I located an awesome adult white Pitty in South Charleston. I talk to the guy an he's kinda ghetto. I agree to come pick the dog up, then never hear from him again. Today, 2 weeks after our initial calling he calls me and this is how the convo goes;
him; Aye yo man, I isnt mean to be aviodin yous calls n' shit I just been busy ya know.
me; uh, yea thats cool. so when can i come get him?
him; aw dog you know wut happend? dat boy went an knocked up dis bitch we got an now shes gona have some pups man
me; uhm, ok?
him; yea dawg see i not really wantin get rid of him yet not til after dem pups be born an shit ya know. not gona let him be steppin out on his baby momma (he then laughs hystarically)
me; uhhh, right.. so.. ?
him; ah shit man (laughs some more) why dont you gimme a call in bout ohh 6 weeks i be get rid of him to ya then
me; ok dood (hang up)
-not sure why 6wk's but whatever..This was the funniest phone convo I have had with a complete stranger in my life. I was so dumbfounded when I got off the phone I just laughed for like 5min.. then I call this lady;
This lady has 5 pit pups. She emails me quite a few pics and the white one is awesome. Anyhow she gives me her addy an shit so I can mapquest it, as well as her phone # so I give her a call;
me; yea, this is Jay we been playin email tag about the white puppy ya got
her; oh yes, im glad to hear from you instead of email (laughs)
me; well I just mapquested it, it's gona take me oh, about 2 an a half hours to get there, but I plan on leaving in the next 10min.
her; ok that's fine. Oh, wait, did I tell you that the white one you are wanting is deaf? I cant remember if I did or not.
me; deaf? are you shitting me?
her; no (in an unpleased voice due to my useage of the word shit)
me; (highly pissed off now) is it blind an fuckin retarded too?
her; UGH! NO! ASSHOLE! (hangs up on me)
I was pissed off because it was like here, here's this candy lil boy, doesnt it look good? Then at the last minute being like oh yea, I forgot to tell you I found it in the toilet floating in a sea of piss. Her calling me an asshole made me laugh alot tho so I got over it right quick. Yes that was an asshole-ish thing to say but she pissed me off, fuck her anyway.
posted by Siwel at
2:23 PM
0 Comments
Joining the FBI
Just a clip from a convo I had last nite with a friend of mine..On a side note, I AM going to email someone as soon as I get around to it. I'll just peruse the FBI website til I find some email link.. When I do I will blog the responce I get. I am about 99% sure I will get a responce of some sort. Anything that stupid surely could not go unanswered.
Anyhow, enjoy;
Jay x Soprano (12:42:48 AM): dood if the govt ever read my shit, they would def wonder wtf is wrong with me
Jay x Soprano (12:43:04 AM): this guy hates anyone or thing foreign, yet all he talks about is blowing up shit in this counrty
anno*** (12:43:13 AM): lol if they read our conversations...theyd arrest us the next day
Jay x Soprano (12:43:16 AM): lol
Jay x Soprano (12:43:41 AM): theyd start to build a new jail during my trial.. then bury me in the footer
anno*** (12:44:05 AM): lol yeah...wed jus disappear
Jay x Soprano (12:44:28 AM): i think tomorrow im seriously gona find an email link to someone at the fbi or something equally stupid
Jay x Soprano (12:44:31 AM): an shoot them an email
Jay x Soprano (12:44:48 AM): tell them im interested in some sort of job.. say like, since i cant beat them i wana join them
Jay x Soprano (12:44:58 AM): tell them i have seen the movie triple-x an im interested
anno*** (12:45:11 AM): LMFAO
Jay x Soprano (12:45:15 AM): can you fuckin imagine the responce, if any, i would get
Jay x Soprano (12:45:26 AM): that email would be posted above every water cooler in the white house
anno*** (12:45:56 AM): HAHAHA do it
Anyhow, enjoy;
Jay x Soprano (12:42:48 AM): dood if the govt ever read my shit, they would def wonder wtf is wrong with me
Jay x Soprano (12:43:04 AM): this guy hates anyone or thing foreign, yet all he talks about is blowing up shit in this counrty
anno*** (12:43:13 AM): lol if they read our conversations...theyd arrest us the next day
Jay x Soprano (12:43:16 AM): lol
Jay x Soprano (12:43:41 AM): theyd start to build a new jail during my trial.. then bury me in the footer
anno*** (12:44:05 AM): lol yeah...wed jus disappear
Jay x Soprano (12:44:28 AM): i think tomorrow im seriously gona find an email link to someone at the fbi or something equally stupid
Jay x Soprano (12:44:31 AM): an shoot them an email
Jay x Soprano (12:44:48 AM): tell them im interested in some sort of job.. say like, since i cant beat them i wana join them
Jay x Soprano (12:44:58 AM): tell them i have seen the movie triple-x an im interested
anno*** (12:45:11 AM): LMFAO
Jay x Soprano (12:45:15 AM): can you fuckin imagine the responce, if any, i would get
Jay x Soprano (12:45:26 AM): that email would be posted above every water cooler in the white house
anno*** (12:45:56 AM): HAHAHA do it
posted by Siwel at
2:18 PM
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