Solid white pitbulls = myth

For oh, quite some time I have wanted either a solid white Pitbull or a solid white Bull terrier. This search has allowed me to come in contact with some very interesting individuals.

Here are just 2 examples of this. The rest I compiled into one big "Siwel" archive story to read. Anyhow I needed an update so here ya are ferrets.. Groove on.




2 weeks ago I located an awesome adult white Pitty in South Charleston. I talk to the guy an he's kinda ghetto. I agree to come pick the dog up, then never hear from him again. Today, 2 weeks after our initial calling he calls me and this is how the convo goes;



him; Aye yo man, I isnt mean to be aviodin yous calls n' shit I just been busy ya know.

me; uh, yea thats cool. so when can i come get him?

him; aw dog you know wut happend? dat boy went an knocked up dis bitch we got an now shes gona have some pups man

me; uhm, ok?

him; yea dawg see i not really wantin get rid of him yet not til after dem pups be born an shit ya know. not gona let him be steppin out on his baby momma (he then laughs hystarically)

me; uhhh, right.. so.. ?

him; ah shit man (laughs some more) why dont you gimme a call in bout ohh 6 weeks i be get rid of him to ya then

me; ok dood (hang up)

-

not sure why 6wk's but whatever..
This was the funniest phone convo I have had with a complete stranger in my life. I was so dumbfounded when I got off the phone I just laughed for like 5min.. the I call this lady;


This lady has 5 pit pups. She emails me quite a few pics and the white one is awesome. Anyhow she gives me her addy an shit so I can mapquest it, as well as her phone # so I give her a call;


me; yea, this is Jay we been playin email tag about the white puppy ya got

her; oh yes, im glad to hear from you instead of email (laughs)

me; well I just mapquested it, it's gona take me oh, about 2 an a half huors to get there, but I plan on leaving in the next 10min.

her; ok that's fine. Oh, wait, did I tell you that the white one you are wanting is deaf? I cant remember if I did or not.

me; deaf? are you shitting me?

her; no (in an unpleased voice due to my useage of the word shit)

me; (highly pissed off now) is it blind an fuckin retarded too?

her; UGH! NO! ASSHOLE! (hangs up on me)



I was pissed off because it was like here, here's this candy lil boy, doesnt it look good? Then at the last minute being like oh yea, I forgot to tell you I found it in the toilet floating in a sea of piss.

Her calling me an asshole made me laugh alot tho so I got over it right quick. Yes that was an asshole-ish thing to say but she pissed me off, fuck her anyway.

DSM Diary - for sale

A few weeks ago I decided to put my Eclipse up for sale. Yea it's one sexy bitch and it has all the goods inside of it like tv, xbox 360, ect. and it's fast as fuck but.. It's still a DSM. It seems like every time I drive it somethign happens that I gota replace or fix. Typical Mitsubishi, nothing can help it, it's just the nature of the beast.

So anyways, the 1st person to contact me was this punk fucking kid. I had no idea as he emaild me and was rather professional sounding. After a few emails of him stroking it I was irritated an told him "look, if youre a young kid with high hopes and no money or means of buying it just stop now and leave me alone as I do not have time to mess with you". He assured me he wasent a kid and that he did infact have the money an bla bla.. So after another few days he finally admits he is 17, has a gay ass Cavalier, (he sent me pics of this pile of fuck) and is trying to sell it to buy my car.

I email him back tellin him to not bother me anymore as I was tired of dealing with him, told him my car was no longer for sale and even if it was I wouldnt sell a car as nice as mine to a douchebag like him.

-

The next kid looked about 12 tho he claimed to be 23, whatever.
Being that he was wearin a strait bill hat cocked to the side made me not want him near my car. Actually it gave me a great urge to punch him in the mouth. I refrained.

He asked for the keys I gave them to him so he could start it. He says he is going to take it for a spin. I laugh and reach in after the keys.

kid; wha wha u do dat fo man?
jay; you arent driving it.
kid; wha? why not?
jay; show me money an you can drive it. no money no drive.
kid; aww man cmon' dats buuuushit
jay; you wana ride in it? hop in the pass side ill drive
kid' aw cmon man how i know i want if if i not drive it man
jay; ok, get out, i dont have much to do today but i dont wana be here with you any longer
kid; man dats fukced up man
jay; get the hell out of my car

I walk off, laughing even tho I am a little irritated.
My dad is about to fall on the ground laughing as is his buddies who were witnessing this event.

-

Next guy calls me, he is ghetto like g-h-e-t-t-o
I find it rather difficult to understand him being that every other sentence was "kno wut I sayin'?". He seemed interested, I think. That or he just wants to find out where it's located so he can come and steal it. Who knows.

-

On to the next guy..
This cat is older soundin, pretty nice fella too
He calls me back again today saying he will pay cash but doesnt want to drive 3 hours from home with that much cash on him so he located a branch of his bank here in town to get it from and will be here tuesday. Yea, we'll see if he shows up.

-

This dood calls me last night, wants to see the car today at 11am
At 10am my phone rings, it's him an he is on his way, 1 hour early. I am not pleased. I go get it, and meet him at PizzaHut. He is a backwoods redneck type and has no fucking idea what he is looking at. I know this because he opens the hood and says "ok, so what am I looking at here?". After a bunch of crap he leaves saying he will call me later. I am cold and pissed off because he wasted my time.

-

This other dood calls me, he seems like a cool cat
He then ask's me if I would be interested in trading for a 94' Integra and a 95 DelSol si, both. I tell him yea I'd think it over, he sends me pics. I guess im involved in an online game of "let's make a fuckni' deal" or something.

-

Anyhow, it just gets better with every call or email..

Anna Nichole = crackwhore

Anna Nichole died, but who gives a fuck?
I dont

I am extremely sick of not being able to turn on tv or looking thru yahoo news without seeing some "new shocking" secrets/facts/pics/testimonies revealed about her. Fuck her. Fuck her in the ear.

So now the media is putting the sad guilt spin on things using her abandon baby as their fuel. Yea it sucks that the baby doesnt have a mother but if you think about it shit, the baby's mom was fucking Anna Nichole. Is the baby really worse off now that Anna is dead? Christ, imagine if your mom was that crackwhore. That child wouldnt stand a chance.

I imagine her blog would go something like this..

02/13/2020
-
Hi, im Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern
I am 13 years old, and I am a crack addict

My mom, Anna, is also a crack addict
She has posed in Playboy numerous times
She had had more semen in her than the Navy's whole fleet of carriers
She has seen more dick than a public restroom urinal
She married some rich old guy and fucked him to death, literally
She gained a bunch of weight and became the worlds first fat crack whore
She moved to meth to compensate and lost the weight

My brother who I will never know killed himself in light of her actions. He did not want to go on living being known as the product of Anna Nichole's reproductive system. He also suspected that he may have fallen subject to being born with HIV as Anna Nichole no doubtedly has it.

As I write this my mom is in the kitchen cooking up a new batch of crack. She got her new set of scales in today so she was excited and wanted to try them out. I better get going so I can kype some coke before she cooks it all. My fix is wearing off.

--

End Blog


Scary shit huh?
And you still think it's a sad thing that Anna died?
Bitch please






Now we have what, like a gazillion guys claiming to be the baby's father?
It's funny that while Anna Nichole was alive no one wanted to step up and claim the responcibility of being the father. Now that she is dead every toothless hilljack from here to Kentucky is on tv claiming to be the father.

Hell, I am thinking about coming foreward and claiming to be the father myself. Sure it's complete bullshit but who cares? I dont really want to be known as a guy who fucked that nasty whore but hey, if it'll get me on tv and in the news for my 2 minutes of fame fuck it, I'll take one for the team.







Friends dont let friends drive drunk.. ..to Anna Nichole's hotelroom

Fuck Texas Roadhouse

Texas Roadhouse;

Food - Awesome
Booze - Awesome
Noise level - Fucking insane

Dood, I mean seriously, what in the fuck is the deal here? When you walk in it's louder than some night clubs. The music is loud as fuck which causes the people to talk louder so they can hear, their kids are screaming, it just plain fucking sucks.

To combat this I sent an email to them regarding this matter. After all this is ME were talking about here. They will have no choice than to make things right!

Right? Wrong!

I got a reply from the manager of our local Roadhouse and in short it told me to get fucked. Here, this is the exact email I received unaltered except for names.


-------------

Dear Mr. *****,



Thank You for taking time to write. In response to your question regarding the music level, we often hear comments of opposing views. We are a little rowdy in the sense that we are a true Texas Roadhouse style restaurant. However, occasionally we do let the music get a little loud. I would be happy to make sure you are in sections of the restaurant that are intentionally quieter next time you visit. I’m sure we can accommodate everyones preference and I hope to see you soon.



Sincerely



Duke Elliott

Managing Partner


---------------------



Ok, so he didnt say the words "get fucked" but you can tell he was wanting to. Much like the way I wanted to send him an email telling him what a cock sucking douchefuck he is.

Anyhow..
My girlfriend got bored and decided to email her complaint 2 months after I sent my initial complaint.

Here is the result;


------------------------------


Dear Mr(s). ******,



Thank You for taking the time to write with your concern. I appreciate your business and your feedback. We are constantly changing to satisfy the needs of our guests. We have made changes to the music level and hope you approve.

Thank you again for your input.



Sincerely,



Duke Elliott

Managing Partner

TRH Parkersburg


----------------------------


This is funny to me because;

1. they havent changed fuckin shit
2. he is alot nicer to her than he was me
3. im legally insane and find everything in life humerous



So, they just got another complaint from one Mr. Jay Siwel
I anxiously await my responce..

Funny story tho;

Quite a few ppl I know work there so I get the DL on shit. One night I noticed the black H2 that is allways there (I assumed it was a manager's ride) was covered completely in post-it notes. I meen totally. I laughed my ass off.

Turns out the dood instead of taking them off just said fuck it an took off driving. They were blowing off as he drove down the road. He got pulled over and given a citation by a pburg police officer for littering. Ahahahahaha









Fuck you Duke Elliott, fuck you in the ear

Alltel sucks, but Chad is cool

Am I the only one who wonders why Chad, the guy in the Alltel commercials has those other 4 guys who represent 4 other cellular companies in his "circle"? I mean, does he actually like these other 4 doods who represent his competition? Do they hangout? And what in the hell is up with his crazy ass hair?

Also what happened to the cingular guy? Did he never find his head from the commercial where his head got used for a bowlingball? I liked the bouncy lil cingular dood. I guess he's dead now tho being AT&T is taking over, again.

The old AT&T was taken over by the new Cingular which is now being taken over by the new AT&T. Funny thing is new or old they both still suck a big one.



I sent a suggestion to the creative department of Dentsu Inc today. They are the company in charge of media an marketing for Automobile manufacturer's such as Honda. I had an idea while I was watching tv the other night.. it goes as this

Dood is driving on this 2 lane road in the middle of nowhere, like Texas. He pulls into this old gas station and stops at the gas pump. The pump is an old style one with the rolling numbers for dollars an cents. He puts the nossle in the tank and the numbers slowly start rolling backwards. Cut to an expanded view and the guy walks into the gas station. He looks at the guy behind the counter and says "yea, $20 on pump #1". The guy gives him a funny look then hands him $20 from the register. Screen fades to black then a voice chimes in. "the all new civic. so fuel effecient you almost swear it makes it" - or something to that effect.

Im sure the idea will be shot down, then they will change it a bit and market it as their own, but eh.. they had the link to send in ideas so fuck it. Not like im making money off of it while its sitting inside of my head.



I went to the DMV today, that sucked
There is no order what so ever in numbers being handed out or being called. I dont understand their system. Are they trying to keep it in random as to confuse would be terrorists or some shit? "now serving D429 at window number 2" wtf kind of shit is that? Then the title I had was done in 2 dif types of ink. One black one blue. Of course I get the noob bitch on the job who wants to go over everything with a fine tooth comb and point out things which could be illegal ect. then get her supervisor over to look at it. He kind of blows it off as it's no big deal, I could tell inside of his head he was cussing this bitch as was I.


Tostitos doesnt have a link to send an email and complain, this pisses me off even more. I got a brand new jar of salsa that is rank as fuck. Dono what is wrong with it, but it smells like 10 day old ass.

How To: Siwel death chili

I had to kind of guesstimate the measurements on this being as I just kind of freehand it all in.. But this is close enough. You can add/subtract the ammounts of things to make it spicy-hot to your taste.


-

What you will need;

x2 jars of HOT Salsa "brand pending on what type you like"
x1 big can of tomato juice
x1 equally sized bottle of v8 juice
x6 cans of dark red kidney beans
x2 cans of light red kidney beans
x1 pound and a half or so Hamburger
x1 bottle of Worstishire sauce
x1 bottle of A1 steak sauce
x1 bottle of Chili powder
x1 bottle of Tabasco sauce
x1 shaker of Salt
x1 shaker of Pepper
x6 packets of "fire" tacobell sauce
x1 case of beer (for you, not the chili)

-

Steps in the creation;

Open case of beer, set on counter
Locate large pot and skillet
Chug one beer and throw can in trash
Unpack all ingredients from the bags or locations in which they currently reside
Drink beer


Put hamburger in skillet and lightly sprinkle Salt and Chili Powder on it
Wash hands
Drink beer

Add 2 table spoons of Worstishire Sauce
Add 2 table spoons of A1 sauce
Lick the A1 off of the spoon
Drink beer

Turn heat on and begin frying
As it is frying stir in half bottle of Salsa
Add small ammount of Tabasco sauce "use your own judgement"
Drink beer

Continue chopping with hamburger masher while frying until completely done
Take spoon you licked A1 off of to capture samll ammount of Hamburger from skillet
Let cool in spoon while you..
Drink beer
Taste and check for wellness
Drink beer
Dump into strainer to let excess grease drain

While waiting on Hamburger to drain;
Chug 2 beers

Grab large pot
Add the other half of Salsa from the Hamburger mix
Open each can of beans and drain the watery shit off of them, dumping each can in
Drink beer

Sprinkle 1 1/2 tablespoons of Sugar on top
Sprinkle Pepper on top
Add 1 jar of salsa
Add 6 packets of tacobell sauce
Add 2 tablespoons of A1 sauce
Lick A1 off of spoon
Drink beer

Add small ammount of Tabasco sauce "use your own judgement"
(warning: judgement may be impaired at this point)

Check Hamburger to see if it is drained
Grab small handfull and eat
Drink beer

Add Hamburger
Pour in can of Tomato juice
Pour in can of V8 juice
Drink beer

Turn heat on high and bring to near boil
Drink beer while waiting

Turn heat down to low, cover and simmer for 1/2 hour stirring occasionally
Continue drinking beer


-


I know what you are thinking. "Is the beer really a necesary element in the process of and completion of creating this chili?"

The answer of course is YES

I dont mind cooking, but to say I enjoy it would be the equivalent to me saying "you know, I been thinking, and being a homosexual may not be all that bad.."

So you have to throw the beer in to mix things up a bit. It gives the male an appearance of still being manly while creating a manly looking meal. It also impairs the judgement enough to add just a bit too much Tabasco which gives it the hot "death" kick to the mix.


Til next time;
Cook on bitches

Blog post #1. Go me

Ok I am getting this shit on track..

This page I am using for my daily rambles "blogging" I guess you might say. And the other will contain just my story archive. It is where I will place only my documented Siwel adventures. I have links on both pages to get back/forth from one to the other.

It was getting confusing, even for me, to keep everything straight when I had blog's and stories all jumble fucked together. At least this way I can bitch about things daily without disrupting the oh, weekly or so updates of my story archive.

I am going to try an update the stories once a week or so, my mood pending. There's alot of things I have done but are just too good to publish in the archive (book material). But there is alot of stuff that is equally good material to what I have posted allready, some better, that I just havent written yet.

Alot of the difficulty in writing my stories isnt so much the actual writing of it, but rather which story to write. And of course in the middle of writing it you recall something worthy of documenting which happened twards the beginning of your story so you then have to go back and redo what you have already written down.

Anyhow I am going to toy around a bit with this new setup. Get the RSS Feed's up here soon. And a few other things that I just dont feel like doing right now.

Til next time, Groove on