I bring joy to your otherwise mundane life

A petition for pardoning Paris Hilton gives as the reason she "provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives...".

No, seriously, I couldnt make that up. That's the real deal folks. I dont even know what to say about this.. Oh wait, yes I do.

Ok, for those of you who may not know the meaning of "mundane" I did the work for you. And dont take my word for it, take Websters..


mun·dane - Pronunciation [muhn-deyn, muhn-deyn]
–adjective

1. common; ordinary; banal; unimaginative.


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Now, not only is this somewhat of an insult to some, but it is a major insult to yours truly.

Also, she thinks that because she is pretty and exciting, she should not have to go to jail. How fuckin vain can you be? This cant possibly work.. can it?

Say me, plain ol' Jay Siwel the delenquent walks into a court room and sits down. After the judge reads what I am being charged with I simple stand up and state "yes sir, I am guilty, but dont you think I my presence here today has brought some joy and a little bit of entertainment to your otherwise mundane life?"

Yea, I would be writing my next blog on paper in cell block 4 if I said that. I probably wouldnt even be allowed to have a pencil either.. I would have to use a feather like the old days, dipping it in blood on the floor which had leaked from my ass from where a 400lbs black guy had owned me an hour before.


Now then, that being said..
Do I think Paris should go to jail?
..nah, fuck it. I say let her go.














Youre looking for a reason behind me saying she should go free arent ya?












Well there isnt one, I cant possibly give any logical reason why she should go free. I just think she should.

another day, another aol blog

Just another day on aol..
Normally my convo's are kind of funny, but only a few are really blog worthy. The ones that I find somewhat amusing usually find their way here tho.

Enjoy,



Jay x Soprano (12:04:04 PM): ***** refunded my money

Jay x Soprano (12:04:10 PM): now i need my check for my carpet

L0gicB0mb508 (12:05:02 PM): haha *****...hates jew...

Jay x Soprano (12:04:41 PM): haha those fuckers better take a number an stand in line

L0gicB0mb508 (12:05:58 PM): *looks at number* 356...damn

Jay x Soprano (12:09:15 PM): haha thats right bitch

Jay x Soprano (12:09:21 PM): youre about 120 ppl deep

Jay x Soprano (12:09:24 PM): right behind god

L0gicB0mb508 (12:10:44 PM): i guess im goina have to step up..and do gods work

Jay x Soprano (12:10:25 PM): haha if god is waiting in line, he obviously cant help you

Jay x Soprano (12:10:53 PM): he had to bribe 3 ppl with eternal life to get where hes at now

L0gicB0mb508 (12:11:43 PM): lol ill shoot you in the face...and say i did it for god...i was just doing work for god.....as i get off scott free because the cops and judge knows you too well

Jay x Soprano (12:11:22 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (12:11:26 PM): that sir, would work

L0gicB0mb508 (12:12:25 PM): then im goina go pour a 40 on your grave...one for my dead homie

L0gicB0mb508 (12:12:26 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (12:12:02 PM): good, ill need a beer when im dead

L0gicB0mb508 (12:12:59 PM): haha one for the afterlife

Jay x Soprano (12:12:50 PM): you know im kinda torn.. what exactly would satan think seeing me walk through the gates of his humble abode

Jay x Soprano (12:12:59 PM): 1. be happy i have now arrive

Jay x Soprano (12:12:59 PM): or

Jay x Soprano (12:13:08 PM): 2. think oh fuck, there goes the neighborhood

L0gicB0mb508 (12:14:13 PM): im guess 3. should i just give this guy my wallet and let him fuck my bitch?

Jay x Soprano (12:13:45 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (12:13:52 PM): SURVEY SAYS?!

Jay x Soprano (12:13:59 PM): ding ding #3 is the top answer

Jay x Soprano (12:14:32 PM): i can see it now.. demons bolting shit down so i cant steal it


..see, this is really funny now. But when im dead, and Satan and God are sittin at the poker table looking at me, telling me what an arrogant mouthy cocksucker I am as they remind me of this post, it's not really going to be all that funny..

Sat eve randomness ~ bizored

The blind stares of a million pairs of eyes..
lookin' hard but won't realize..
..that they will never see

Me.



Yea, I been rockin out to some old Tupac lately.
New music fuckin sucks man, I mean like once a month maybe one decent song will come out, an that covers all music genre's. I listen to it all.. so when you listen to all types of music an still cant find shit worth listening to you know music is in a slump.

Deuce is finally to the point he's about 90% house broken, thank god.
He will piss outside as long asy uo take him out. The problem is he doesnt know how to tell you he needs out yet, so I just gota take him out about every hour or so. He pisses ALL the damn time. Guess it's partly because he drinks ALL the damn time as well. He's always hot.. I was told it is because he is growing so fast, I dono.

This pic is about 2wks old or so, so he's quite a bit bigger now.. But I couldnt get him to hold still to take a pic just now so fuck it.



Big baby..



Anyhow;

I went to Texas Roadhouse the other night, and thank god for cell phones w/camera's built into them. Because if not for them I would have not of gotten this.



Ok, now many of you may know immediatley what this is, but for those of you who do not it is a baby changing station inside of a public restroom.

Now, look closely. Do you notice anything wrong here?

First yes, it is a Koala bear in a diaper, and I am pretty sure most public places, especially restaurants do not allow bears inside no matter what type of apparell they may be wearing.

Second, if you look, the diaper is held together by a safety pin. I know, there is nothing wrong w/that as that is how they were back before the tape/velcro/wtf ever it is they use now days. But if you look to the left you will see that this thing is in Braile.

Now I ask you this,
do you honestly think that a blind person should be feeling their way around inside of a bathroom until they find this station, and then commence changing a diaper on a baby, using a sharp needle? Call me stupid, but blind and potentially harmful sharp objects do not go hand in hand, especially with a baby involved.

Hell why stop there? Why not get a grenade, pull the pin, and have a bunch of elementary school kids play hot potato with it?

..this brings me to my next Braile episode.

I did not take a pic of this but if I remember next time I will.
The other day I had to go to the ATM Machine. This machine is in the middle of a parkinglot by my bank, not inside a store, not anywhere which would be out of harms way if one was blind by any means either. As I get to the ATM Machine I notice there are instructions on it, in Braile. What the FUCK?

This is a drive-thru ATM, not a walk up one.. tho I spose you could walk up to it. This also brings me to a few important questions.

1. Are blind ppl really out there driving around looking for ATM Machines?

2. If not, do they have their dogs trained to find ATM Machines?

3. Do the dogs understand the $2 charge for withdrawing from a foreign ATM Machine?


--


The only thing I have found I like about the ATM at my bank is it comes in one language, the dominant one which is spoken in this country. No, not spanish.

If you have enough money that you have a steady enough income/outcome that you need a bank account and yuo live in this country, learn the mother fucking language. It's obvious you plan on staying here for a while, so start learning how to say more things in english than "want fries with that? french tip or no? you want general tso chicken? you want lawn edged when im done?"


Well im out for the day..
Blennerhasset Island is havin some.. something.
I should dress up like an indian and invade the fuckin joint.


til' next time..

Play like an allstar
Party like a rockstar
Live like a moviestar
an..
Fuck like a pornstar

How to ensure slashed tires after a breakup..

I had some things to blog about.. but while talking to my buddy here, I decided pasting our convo would be a whole lot funnier.

Anyhow, enjoy;




annon*** (9:57:49 PM): my girlfriend is a fucking cunt...and shes leaving on tuesday

annon*** (9:57:56 PM): and never coming back...even though she doesnt know that yet

Jay x Soprano (9:57:52 PM): haha

Jay x Soprano (9:57:55 PM): you said that before

annon*** (9:58:14 PM): i am a free man...as of tuesday

Jay x Soprano (9:58:10 PM): lol

annon*** (9:58:28 PM): soo i intend to drink...a lot

Jay x Soprano (9:58:21 PM): ill believe it when i see it

annon*** (9:58:57 PM): haha...what me drinking...or her going away?

Jay x Soprano (9:58:59 PM): both lol

annon*** (9:59:29 PM): haha well she has a plane ticket....and tuesday i will be buying a case of beer my friend

Jay x Soprano (9:59:39 PM): lol

Jay x Soprano (9:59:43 PM): she going to "visit"?

annon*** (10:00:09 PM): yes..shes going a visit.....and im going to casually tell her...to live there

annon*** (10:00:09 PM): haha

Jay x Soprano (10:00:13 PM): hahahaha

Jay x Soprano (10:00:54 PM): look, it just isnt working out, see, you love me.. and i love high school girls

annon*** (10:01:20 PM): HAHAH

annon*** (10:01:32 PM): i happen to love about anything with a vagina...other than you

Jay x Soprano (10:01:31 PM): i just cant be with someone who is not open to exploring the option of an open relationship with the occasional underage girl

Jay x Soprano (10:01:53 PM): haha what you said would work

annon*** (10:02:02 PM): you win sir..

Jay x Soprano (10:02:55 PM): see the problem here is, i love women.. which was good because when we met you were one. but recent events have made you go through the transformation of a woman into a bitch. i googled it, and that process is irreversable

Jay x Soprano (10:02:59 PM): so you are going to have to go

annon*** (10:03:25 PM): now that...is the single...best....fucking amazing...break up line ever

Jay x Soprano (10:03:21 PM): haha

annon*** (10:03:33 PM): good use of google there too

Jay x Soprano (10:03:33 PM): yea, gota rep google

Jay x Soprano (10:03:52 PM): if that lone doesnt end in you being single i dono what would

Jay x Soprano (10:04:08 PM): matter a fact this convo is going on my blog


^^ Now of course, him, nor any man with any common sense what so ever will/would use any of those lines. Partly because some guys just arent that rude, but mainly because most guys do not want to walk outside and see a unidentifyable flaming pile of metal where they are pretty sure their car/truck was parked.

That being said, I do not condone using any of those lines, nor fornicating with any girl under the legal age of 18. I d ohowever ask if yuo do infact use any of those lines please email me. And as far as the fornication part goes..

I ask you please, do NOT email me pics of your fornication acts.
Do NOT email them to jaysiwel@gmail.com.
Do NOT email them to jaysiwel@gmail.com w/title reading "my underage girl homemade porn".
Do NOT email them to jaysiwel@gmail.com and add a link to her myspace page.
Do NOT email them to jaysiwel@gmail.com and add a link to her myspace page, accompanied by her telephone number.

..hahaha. Ok, im seriously laughin here..

That being said, im out.

Groove on