Another random aol convo

Jay x Soprano (5:02:13 PM): the prosecutor, almost 2mons after my case is over somehow got the judge to agree to send me to a center for "evaluation"

Jay x Soprano (5:02:13 PM): haha

JoshE67 (5:02:37 PM): hahah

Jay x Soprano (5:02:24 PM): i have to go in wed. at noon for a 4 fucking hour evaluation

JoshE67 (5:02:45 PM): does that mean you might be exiting house arrest early

Jay x Soprano (5:02:38 PM): to see if i need alcohol, anger, or any other type of therapy ect

JoshE67 (5:02:55 PM): wtf do you do for 4 hours

JoshE67 (5:02:58 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:02:45 PM): fuck if i know

JoshE67 (5:03:03 PM): is there a box for all of the above

Jay x Soprano (5:02:52 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:03:08 PM): shes like i have to schedule you at noon because we close at 4

Jay x Soprano (5:03:13 PM): im like wtf how long does this take

JoshE67 (5:03:28 PM): haha

Jay x Soprano (5:03:15 PM): shes like 4 hours

JoshE67 (5:03:36 PM): god damn

Jay x Soprano (5:03:23 PM): i said 4 FUCKING HOURS ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

Jay x Soprano (5:03:38 PM): so ill prob wind up in anger management

JoshE67 (5:03:58 PM): they probably just test and see if you can sit there for 4 hours without drinking or killing someone

JoshE67 (5:03:59 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:03:48 PM): haha

Jay x Soprano (5:03:58 PM): then she informed me that i had to pay for this shit

JoshE67 (5:04:32 PM): that figures

JoshE67 (5:04:34 PM): fucking law

Jay x Soprano (5:04:23 PM): i told her how bout i just keep my money an dont come

Jay x Soprano (5:04:29 PM): she didnt think it was as funny as i did

JoshE67 (5:04:49 PM): you dont say

JoshE67 (5:04:50 PM): lol

Jay x Soprano (5:05:00 PM): so needless to say wed night ima get drunk prob

Jay x Soprano (5:05:05 PM): ill need a drink after that bullshit

JoshE67 (5:05:32 PM): god who wouldn't

Jay x Soprano (5:06:40 PM): odds are no matter what you do/say they are gona say you need classes

JoshE67 (5:07:05 PM): exactly, which probably cost more money

Jay x Soprano (5:06:56 PM): haha dood get this

Jay x Soprano (5:07:04 PM): classes are $500 a fucking month

JoshE67 (5:07:24 PM): what the fuck

JoshE67 (5:07:24 PM): f that

Jay x Soprano (5:07:15 PM): yea thats what i said

JoshE67 (5:07:38 PM): what do you even get for going to this...if you pass them all you get to leave house arrest early?

Jay x Soprano (5:07:29 PM): haha no

Jay x Soprano (5:07:44 PM): if you pass, they end the same time as your house arrest does

JoshE67 (5:08:07 PM): what does

Jay x Soprano (5:07:55 PM): if you do not pass, your house arrest continues until you do pass

Jay x Soprano (5:07:59 PM): which you pay for as well

JoshE67 (5:08:14 PM): what the hell

JoshE67 (5:08:31 PM): you should kill that prosecutor

Jay x Soprano (5:08:23 PM): so on top of paying my $300/mon i think it is house arrest

Jay x Soprano (5:08:27 PM): 500 in classes?

Jay x Soprano (5:08:37 PM): theres no fucking way man.. im gona tell them fuck you throw me in jail

JoshE67 (5:08:55 PM): you have to pay for house arrest?

Jay x Soprano (5:08:44 PM): haha fuck yea

JoshE67 (5:09:05 PM): what the....

Jay x Soprano (5:09:10 PM): they make a killing off of house arrest dood

JoshE67 (5:09:31 PM): wow if that isnt a kick in the ass

Jay x Soprano (5:09:32 PM): if you have no job it cost 5.50 a day, plus the $75 hookup fee, plus $15 for every drug test

Jay x Soprano (5:09:36 PM): however

Jay x Soprano (5:09:47 PM): if you have a job it cost whatever your hourly wage is per day

JoshE67 (5:10:21 PM): wow

JoshE67 (5:10:24 PM): i cant believe that shit

Jay x Soprano (5:10:39 PM): lol no shit

Jay x Soprano (5:10:49 PM): in my county alone there are over 600 ppl on house arrest

Jay x Soprano (5:11:01 PM): so if i pro-rate it at 5.50 as if no one had a job

Jay x Soprano (5:11:23 PM): for 600 ppl, the income per month is 99k

JoshE67 (5:12:02 PM): god damn...

JoshE67 (5:12:11 PM): they make a killing

Jay x Soprano (5:11:59 PM): no shit

Jay x Soprano (5:12:46 PM): id say if i pro-rated it at minimum wage, which would balance out between the ppl who make good money an those who dnot work..

Jay x Soprano (5:12:48 PM): hmm hang on

Jay x Soprano (5:13:20 PM): 130,500 a month

JoshE67 (5:14:06 PM): thats insane

Jay x Soprano (5:14:15 PM): 1.59mil a year

Jay x Soprano (5:14:17 PM): hahaha

JoshE67 (5:14:48 PM): hahah

Jay x Soprano (5:14:38 PM): man i didnt realise it was so much money til now.. now i am pissed off

JoshE67 (5:14:58 PM): i wonder what they pay the people who work in home confinement

JoshE67 (5:15:00 PM): not 1.59 mil a year

Jay x Soprano (5:14:49 PM): lol

JoshE67 (5:15:11 PM): you should call your friend and tell her all this

JoshE67 (5:15:17 PM): tell her to demand a raise

JoshE67 (5:15:17 PM): lol

Jay x Soprano (5:15:04 PM): theres 4 ppl, they all get paid a normal police officers wage

JoshE67 (5:15:24 PM): aka, shit

Jay x Soprano (5:15:16 PM): aka still overpaid

JoshE67 (5:15:48 PM): hahaha

JoshE67 (5:15:49 PM): hell yeah

JoshE67 (5:15:54 PM): fuck the po lice

Jay x Soprano (5:16:11 PM): after im off house arrest i should be able to go around the city stealing whatever the fuck i want

Jay x Soprano (5:16:14 PM): i helped pay for it

JoshE67 (5:16:33 PM): hahaha

JoshE67 (5:16:37 PM): tell that to the cop

JoshE67 (5:16:40 PM): that'd be a funny story

Jay x Soprano (5:16:27 PM): haha

JoshE67 (5:16:43 PM): "I OWN THIS CITY

Jay x Soprano (5:16:35 PM): i paid for the tires on this cruiser you fat mother fucker

Jay x Soprano (5:16:56 PM): you should of seen the 2 cops who came to my house to hookup the box

Jay x Soprano (5:17:08 PM): the one dood was so fucking fat he couldnt bend over to plug the phone cord in

JoshE67 (5:17:28 PM): hahahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:17:15 PM): i hooked the damn thing up for them

JoshE67 (5:17:33 PM): how the fuck do you pass the tests

JoshE67 (5:17:36 PM): dont they give some sort of physical test

Jay x Soprano (5:17:30 PM): only before you get hired

JoshE67 (5:17:52 PM): after that its all downhill

JoshE67 (5:17:54 PM): apparantly

Jay x Soprano (5:17:46 PM): if they had regular physicals 90% of our police force would be gone

JoshE67 (5:18:06 PM): that would rule

Jay x Soprano (5:17:56 PM): haha no shit

Jay x Soprano (5:18:25 PM): itd be like being in a locked up whore house holding a gun and bill gates debit card

Jay x Soprano (5:18:29 PM): nothing could stop you

JoshE67 (5:19:15 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:20:29 PM): i told ****** i wanted him to take something of mine w/my fingerprints on it and drop off at "the crime scene" while he shot out the window of a bank

Jay x Soprano (5:20:40 PM): that way the cops would be pissed.. knowing i was at home on house arrest

JoshE67 (5:20:58 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:21:13 PM): sadly even tho its impossible, they would arrest me anyways

JoshE67 (5:21:34 PM): i know

Jay x Soprano (5:21:20 PM): thats how the law works in my town lol

JoshE67 (5:21:39 PM): logic doesnt prevail

JoshE67 (5:21:43 PM): insert sad face

Jay x Soprano (5:21:37 PM): ive gotten arrested for shit i not only didnt do, but wasent even in town while it happened

Jay x Soprano (5:21:55 PM): 3k in lawyer fees later im free to go

JoshE67 (5:22:14 PM): lol do the cops just hate you

JoshE67 (5:22:19 PM): cant you like sue the city to get that back

Jay x Soprano (5:22:08 PM): nope

JoshE67 (5:22:26 PM): ..

JoshE67 (5:22:38 PM): how the fuck

Jay x Soprano (5:22:26 PM): and yea, when i was younger the cops and i did not get along.. i was a household name

Jay x Soprano (5:22:27 PM): lol

Jay x Soprano (5:22:39 PM): cops carried pics of me around in their wallets beside pics of their kids

JoshE67 (5:22:59 PM): hahah

JoshE67 (5:23:02 PM): "i arrested jay again today"

Jay x Soprano (5:22:51 PM): haha

JoshE67 (5:23:12 PM): "oh yeah? was it barfighting or public drunkeness or both?"

Jay x Soprano (5:23:16 PM): well actually it was for crossing a crosswalk at 2pm while being white

JoshE67 (5:23:34 PM): "neither, he was stumbling through some peoples yards holding a gun. on the phone with some guy named mobboss"

Jay x Soprano (5:23:25 PM): HAHA

JoshE67 (5:23:45 PM): hahaha

JoshE67 (5:23:54 PM): "oh and whoever xarius is, he's apparantly a pedophile"

Jay x Soprano (5:24:17 PM): the name suggest foul play and obviously a challenge greater than our feeble minds can comprehend so we just wrote him up for domestic violence

JoshE67 (5:24:47 PM): hahaha

JoshE67 (5:24:57 PM): just outta curiosity

JoshE67 (5:25:01 PM): how many times have you been arrested

Jay x Soprano (5:24:51 PM): i dono

Jay x Soprano (5:24:56 PM): id have to think about it

Jay x Soprano (5:24:58 PM): hang on

JoshE67 (5:25:22 PM): due to the fact that *I* can remember like 5 times off the top of my head

JoshE67 (5:25:24 PM): its got to be a lot

JoshE67 (5:25:25 PM): lol

Jay x Soprano (5:25:38 PM): i think 13 times so far

JoshE67 (5:26:00 PM): hahah

Jay x Soprano (5:26:08 PM): ive only been convicted twice out of those tho

Jay x Soprano (5:26:09 PM): lol

JoshE67 (5:26:30 PM): lol

JoshE67 (5:26:30 PM): jesus

Jay x Soprano (5:26:32 PM): ofc you now see that im serving 6 months house arrest for something very tiny haha

JoshE67 (5:26:53 PM): hahaha

JoshE67 (5:27:00 PM): yeah....wonder why

Jay x Soprano (5:26:57 PM): the house does not like to lose.. so when they have an opportunity to win, they win big

JoshE67 (5:27:36 PM): im not surprised

Jay x Soprano (5:27:32 PM): if you figure tho just about every time i was arrested it cost me 3k, i didnt really "win" anything

Jay x Soprano (5:27:32 PM): lol

JoshE67 (5:27:53 PM): hahaha

JoshE67 (5:27:58 PM): the lawyers did

Jay x Soprano (5:27:49 PM): lol yea

JoshE67 (5:28:15 PM): i probably look like an idiot laughing my ass off at my screen at my desk at work

Jay x Soprano (5:28:05 PM): the last time i got arrested, before this time when i got house arrest

Jay x Soprano (5:28:10 PM): my lawyer didnt even charge me

JoshE67 (5:28:29 PM): haha

JoshE67 (5:28:37 PM): he figured you already paid him so much he owed you a freebie?'

Jay x Soprano (5:28:28 PM): by the time i was 21, me and my lawyer were seriously friends

Jay x Soprano (5:28:35 PM): haha yea

JoshE67 (5:28:56 PM): a lawyer is a good friend to have

JoshE67 (5:29:01 PM): now you just need to make friends with a judge

Jay x Soprano (5:28:49 PM): dui's he charges 7k for

JoshE67 (5:29:04 PM): and a few cops

Jay x Soprano (5:28:52 PM): charged me 3

Jay x Soprano (5:29:08 PM): yea but my lawyer died this year.. part of why i got fucked this time i think lol

JoshE67 (5:29:28 PM): haha wtf

JoshE67 (5:29:30 PM): how

Jay x Soprano (5:29:18 PM): cancer

JoshE67 (5:29:36 PM): that sucks

Jay x Soprano (5:29:34 PM): he was a raging alcoholic, really cool guy

Jay x Soprano (5:29:48 PM): he had wicked memorial day parties

Jay x Soprano (5:30:09 PM): i was friends w/a judge but he ended up getting in alot of trouble then stepped down haha

JoshE67 (5:30:32 PM): lol you dont say

Jay x Soprano (5:30:39 PM): i used to date a magistrates daughter whom im still friends with too lol

Jay x Soprano (5:30:54 PM): haha

Jay x Soprano (5:31:40 PM): my lawyers name was ****edited****

JoshE67 (5:31:56 PM): hahah

Jay x Soprano (5:31:53 PM): i always said "when in doubt, ****** will get you out"

JoshE67 (5:32:08 PM): thats a kickass name

JoshE67 (5:32:36 PM): haha

Jay x Soprano (5:33:03 PM): he was one of the biggest guys in town.. like you know how rich/popular ppl get all the special treatment lol

Jay x Soprano (5:33:21 PM): it was cool walking into like outback or whatever and he would be yelling at me, drunk, from across the place

JoshE67 (5:33:53 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:33:45 PM): women an children everywhere eating dinner an he's like LEWIS WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING COME OVER HERE AND HAVE A BEER

JoshE67 (5:34:01 PM): its like in fear and loathing in las vegas

JoshE67 (5:34:03 PM): his lawyer

Jay x Soprano (5:33:53 PM): haha exactly

JoshE67 (5:34:10 PM): "wanna do some ether?"

Jay x Soprano (5:34:36 PM): he's the first person i have ever seen to get tired of doing shots of jager at outback and tell them to just bring the fucking bottle over

Jay x Soprano (5:35:23 PM): he poured the whole bottle evenly into i dono i think 5 of us were there, an put it in tom collins glasses

JoshE67 (5:36:24 PM): jesus

Jay x Soprano (5:37:15 PM): every week day he would go to the 19th st country club after work

Jay x Soprano (5:37:28 PM): and drink til he was so fucked up he coudlnt walk.. then drive home haha

Jay x Soprano (5:37:36 PM): weekeneds he usually went to outback

JoshE67 (5:37:56 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:38:43 PM): the irony in this is that here is your lawyer representing you for dui and telling you that you shouldnt drink & drive while his blood never has a chance to recoop from his excess drinking

Jay x Soprano (5:38:49 PM): as he drives around lol

JoshE67 (5:39:05 PM): hahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:40:58 PM): im gona have my record expunged as soon as my house arrest is over

Jay x Soprano (5:41:14 PM): cause if ppl pull my record.. the look on their face is priceless, but not in a good way

Jay x Soprano (5:41:46 PM): they look at my record like one of jesus' apostles would have looked at a chic blowing a donkey while getting fucked in the ass by a penguin

JoshE67 (5:42:13 PM): hahahaha

Jay x Soprano (5:42:24 PM): im not real sure how a penguin would accomplish this but the one from billy madison may be able to do it